YOU CAN BE LOUD HERE

2020 Smith, Lynn R.

You can be loud here.

Don’t blink. 

It will happen that quickly. 

Everything will make the most sense not making any sense at all. 

You will be going about your routine, 

and suddenly nonsense doesn’t really matter. 

No nonsense? 

Impossible.

May there still be good nonsense. 

You. 

You are good nonsense. 

Silly and quirky.

Calming.

An essential part of being you. 

Hear this. 

Memorize it.

Hold onto it as if all happiness in life depends on it. 

It does. 

Those folks that sing in your head saying you’re too much this and too much that.

Those are NOT, I repeat, those are NOT your folks. 

People who don’t love your enthusiasm and authenticity, 

Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

No room for that here. 

Hit mute. 

Pray.

Meditate.

Zen them away. 

But always show up. 

Never stop showing up. 

Don’t let them silence your soul. 

We all have bones. 

That’s the easy part. 

Be nice. 

For some that’s not so easy. 

Walking, talking, cocky insecurity. 

Loud. 

Loud. 

Loud like a Tuba. 

Drowning you out. 

Let them down easy.

Go before I drop a house on you? 

Easy like that? 

Okay, maybe not that easy.

Sure. 

Respect.

I get it. 

You can be respectful. 

You both enter. 

If one must leave,

let it be them.

Damn it. 

Quit walking away. 

Some of the best breakthroughs 

take a breakdown. 

It’s okay. 

Today YOU stay. 

Let them go. 

Sayonara.

Adios.

Chao.

Be true to you.

Hug them if you feel like it. 

Wish a kind farewell. 

But. 

But you stay put.

Embrace the seconds that surround you. 

You’re aware.

You were born to be this you

Playing dress-up.

People pretending this is make believe. 

Like they have endless chances. 

You know this. 

You made it. 

Pursue your purpose.

Your truth.

One shot. 

Love a fairy tale. 

Be a true story. 

Alive. 

You

Live your life. 

Live your life fully.

You can’t save pretenders.

No one can. 

Radiate.

Radiate your realness.

Glow your aura. 

It lights the dark for the right people. 

Dance to all things with love.

It’s okay.

You don’t have to whisper anymore.

We are all loud here. 

The ones that matter most,

will never mind. 

They will love you. 

The you-est YOU, 

the one and only,

you-est YOU. 

Photo creds Kaitlynn Paige Trundle

Be.

Stay.

Do.

Love. 

True. 

Story.

You.

2020 Smith, Lynn R.

You can be loud here. 

Photo credits go to my sons beautiful wife.

 https://www.facebook.com/Kaitlynn.Trundle This girl has brought my world so much sunshine when she married one of my sonshine’s. I plan to share more about my family during this journey. My son and daughter-in- law both have heart warming stories and I know each one of them can share and make a difference to someone who can relate. Even if you can’t it will touch your hearts.

CRY LIKE I CRIED

2020 Smith, Lynn Rilean

CRY LIKE I CRIED

My daughter passed 29 years’ ago, at the age of 6 weeks. I tortured myself trying to move through those emotions. I have just recently discovered the pain of losing her is never going away. It is always in the back of my mind. Somedays it is brought to the front by a baby being born or a child’s cry and several other little things most people bypass. When that happens now, I can let it be there without beating myself up. Writing helps keep me grounded and allows me to express my emotions. 29 years’ sounds like a long time ago, but in the mind of a parent, 29 years’ ago is every morning.

Woke up today

Pulled your photo

from the drawer

Photo credit to Kaitlynn Paige Trundle via PicsArt

I understand now

life and loss

a lot more

No more in vain

will I let you be

Baby of mine

life left in me

Do they see what I see

Have they cried

like I cried

Have they hurt

like I hurt

Have they tried

like I tried

When they look in the mirror

What do they see

When I look

it’s all

looking back

at me.

Do you see

what I see

Cry like I cry

Hurt like I’ve hurt

Try like I try

When you step

do you step

with the same heavy weight

Carry it all

Every step that you take

Do you see what I see

Cry like I cried

Hurt like I hurt

Try like I tried

Did you drink like I did

Each bottle to hide

Push it away

And lie like I lied

Did you ever feel lost

in the big world outside

Wash it away

with a turn of a tide

Were you afraid

sad and scared

as I was

Did you try to drown

yourself in that buzz

Just like me

did you sit

Asking why

God why

Like me

were you lost

No goodbye

No goodbye

Do you see what I see

Cry like I cry

Hurt like I hurt

Try like I try

If you know what I mean

the pain

the sorrow

My faith I will share

My faith you can borrow

I’ll hold your hand

I’ll be there

and love you

I know the walk

in the dark you go through

Sometimes it hurts

to move through the pain

The sun will shine

You can dance in the rain

Until that day comes

I’ll be by your side

Friends til the end

Together we rise.

Do you see what I see

Cry like I’ve cried.

Hurt like I hurt

Try like I’ve tried.

2020 Smith, Lynn Rilean

Photo credit Lynn Rilean Smith

I see her in the clouds.