2020 Smith, Lynn Rilean
August 13th 2015
18 and life to go.
One can only hope as they have to take a step back and love a child from a distance that they have more than 18 to go.
The night of my sons 18th birthday he sent me a text message in reply to my questioning if he had seen his grandparents, or his dad that day on his birthday.
I’ll never forget the feeling I had take over me when he replied, “No.”
It meant he was in a very dark place. His grandparents meant the world to him. To hear he did not see them meant nothing good. It also meant I couldn’t just sit there.
I will leave all the in between out of this blog entry today. You will be able to read the rise, fall, and rise again of my son in his biography.
His daily battle with Intrusive thought OCD and anxiety, as well as what it was like to live through and come out of his addiction.
I was inspired today by a video my daughter -in- law sent to me this morning.
I chose the title based on the song that plays in this video. I could write an entire book about her , the love we all have for her and her survival skills. Not to mention I couldn’t have hand picked her any better if I tried.
The girl has what I like to refer to as good guts. Literally out of nowhere shows back up in all our lives. Insert ~Like a Wrecking Ball here. Because she definitely came back full force. Only this time her and my son were about to smash the shit out of their past and become parent’s.
What we got to witness happen was nothing short of a miracle.
My son was already on his way up and out of his old ways and that old life he had left behind.
They had dated before a couple years prior.
They had claimed so young, even then, that they were the love of each other’s life.
The parent’s all surrounding this young love affair had our own opinions of these two.
A lot of uncertainty. Speaking minimally of the dysfunction surrounding them both, they were a mess.
Sure. Yeah. Right. Love. Uh huh. Okay. Whatever.
Drug’s do stupid things to people, and people on drug’s do stupid things.
Needless to say the relationship failed.
Some of those watching on the side lines thankful for the end and it’s mass fail. Me, not knowing what surrounded the break up. I cheered. I thought it meant that finally my son would choose to go home.
What was I thinking?
He had no intention of not using, especially now.
In fact, now he had more reason to continue that painful path. A broken heart.
A broken boy with a very tough guardian angel. An angel that ultimately lead him out of that super highway to hell and eventually back to the girl that knows him just like she does.
But first he got to come home. We got to watch his transformation. I’d never thought he was on his way to being a father or her a mother. Damn what a beautiful sight to see.
I can’t speak for everyone but I’m fairly certain statistics show relationships built like that don’t typically survive.
The odds are stacked against them from the beginning. Love for what you’re addicted to usually always wins.
I’m witness to this special love story. They eventually came here to Missouri where I was living. Maybe that doesn’t seem very pivotal. But it was life changing. September 10th, 2018 they arrived to my home in Missouri. September 11th I was arrested. Stupid is as Stupid drinks. September 12th was my first day without a drink in a year and a half.
It was also the first of many new firsts.
Them planning to be first time parents.
Us. First time Grandparents.
I’m guilty of questioning what in the hell they’re going to do and how in the world they’ll be able to provide for a baby.
Now I know. They showed us all.
Some love stories are written in the stars.
Their love story is how stars are born.
A star is born when atoms of light elements are squeezed under enough pressure for their nuclei to undergo fusion.
2020 Smith, Lynn Rilean
If you enjoyed reading this entry then you will really enjoy what is to come as I continue to create the outline for the in-between parts of this post.
Stay tuned. I will update this entry once more is available.